[pawpaw]

Day 5 Sunday Continued

8:05AM-Big rain!, tent time. On last pack of smokes, dang it. Thought I would be off them by now and only brought them so I would have them after the game, not before. I hope we leave soon. I thought I could have at least 2packs left. But with the worry of everything they have helped. like a security banket, a friend when everyone I know is half a world away. I don't want to turn into Shane. Supposed to have a cast photo later.

8:10--About 120 degrees in my tent right nowwhere we have been told to say right now. Thank God for the fan, but really now I'm just cookin on conventional setting instead of bake.

11:30--Back from medical,they took our "game" bagsand said I couldn't take my pills for my back because it would be an unfair advantage to have them. They gave me enough for today and if we don't leave tomorrow they will give me enough for the next day.

Doh!, I shouldn't of given them all of them. Just trying to follow the rules. Good thing I didn't give them the valium. I got 3 left, so 6 more doses. I really feel like a more confident person.

****!, bo-peep just got up and left me. I wonder if I stink? Checked pits, smells O.K. to me. But today I don't care. I'm O.K. as long as I got you guys.

12:10--After lunch, I wish I had an astronauts pen so I could write lying down. Back is getting tighter. Food here is the same regurgitated stuff over and over again. We got weight today and I've gained 2 pounds. eating is the only thing that breaks the monotony with the gusto of a sumo wreastler.

Honey your right, I should of brought a journal instead of just writing in this book. Bo-peep brought one and I saw her drawing rainbows in it. Maybe I should rename her pollyanna.

It is very therapeutic to write my feelings down. Its almost like having company over. I should listen to you more. This is another thing I am learning. Gonna rain soon, better hurry and go pee.